Haunted By Francis

I hope to make my Covenant Statement next summer, or perhaps sooner. This summer, during Community Days, I attended a friend's Covenant Ceremony. This was an amazing experience, and I am glad that she shared this special day with me by inviting me to the ceremony.

I first became acquainted with the Tiffin Franciscans through the mentoring and friendship of my parish's former Pastoral Leader, Sr. Mary. I first learned of the Associate program through my friend Barb (an Associate of the Tiffins) and also through my friend Erin (whose ceremony I just attended).

I can't claim to have felt one particular, specific Call. There was no shocking moment of epiphany; my metanoia was much more subtle and much more of a process than that. I do know that once I became aware of the Associate program, earlier feelings that I'd perhaps misinterpreted suddenly made sense. As a young child, I felt Called to religious life. But over time, and as a result of some specific experiences, I became convinced that I had never truly heard a Call. Years later, after reconciling a lot of my feelings about the Church (as a hierarchy), I interpreted that earlier Call as a Call to social justice work as a layperson. And this interpretation did fit with my life and experiences and values. But once I became aware of the Associate program, my interpretation shifted once more... and for the first time, there was a sense of finding the right fit.

It was at this time that I began to be "Haunted by Francis," as my friend Erin so lovingly puts it. Images of St. Francis began to surround me; or, more accurately, I became extremely aware of how much St. Francis was already a part of my life. From the St. Francis statue of my mother's that I broke during my childhood to the one my father's sister gave her as a replacement; from the Prayer of St. Francis card that I have carried in my wallet since my teen years, even though it was acquired during a time in my life when I was intent on disavowing all relationship with the Church to the sung version I have cherished since my arrival at St. Tom's; from the Carruth St. Francis that hangs in my mulberry tree, a gift from my friend Joey, to the plastic statuette of St. Clare that this same friend unknowingly gave me just because he worked in television and dug that she was the patron saint of TV... from childhood on, St. Francis has been a daily companion and member of my household.

My formation is still ongoing, and in some ways, barely begun. But although I could not have predicted this path for myself, realizing the direction that it would take me was neither shocking nor unfamiliar. It simply felt like finding a name for something I already knew I should be. Franciscan ideals felt familiar and comfortable to me, as if I'd been raised a Franciscan... and it turns out, I practically was!

I never knew my maternal grandmother, who died before I was born, but my mother has always said that my personality reminded her of her own mother. When I told my mother of my plans to become an Associate, she then revealed to me that her mother had been a 3rd Order Secular Franciscan. No wonder the values she passed down to me felt so familiar when I encountered them in a formal way! My mother and her sister know very few details, but I would like to research my grandmother's involvement... ad I suspect that this research will be part of my own current journey.

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I don't suppose that anyone reading this (if, indeed, anyone is reading this) is familiar with the Franciscan community in the Grand Rapids, MI area? This would have been most likely in the 1930s through '60s. I realize that this plea for information is a longshot, and that I have not even begun my own research, but I figure it's worth a shot...